I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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