I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
