areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
