We won't sleep together?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she smelled like a LAN party
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
