Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
