So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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