you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
