We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
