I like my sex mixed with concussions.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
