Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
wow bdsm is so cute
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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