your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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