remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
is wine microwaveable?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize