Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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