just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
