There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
