i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
