I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
