Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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