Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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