So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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