I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
