You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize