We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize