i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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