there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
