I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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