i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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