end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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