arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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