therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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