UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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