Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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