butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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