help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
