I want to make a zoo with you.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
