I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize