dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
