It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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