theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
