i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
