life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
