listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the day after is always just damage control
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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