Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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