wake up i wanna do it froggy style
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
