we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
