she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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