I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize