I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
