why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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