he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
