never play flip cup with pint glasses
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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