awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
