you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
