Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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