He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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