Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
