i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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