Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
