Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
time to smoke my breakfast
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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