Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i love accidental penises.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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