All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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