I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
