Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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