saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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