if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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