dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
