Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
