she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize